motherf*cking8by10

So, for the past two days i was working pretty hard for only four shots. It took about 7 hours total but i finished developing two perfectly exposed 8x10 black and white negs (thats right NEGS), and also shot two colour 8x10 negs. so exciting. I can't wait to get in the darkroom.

I will try to scan the b&w on monday and may have a nice little peek for y'all.

bigger dragons

I am happy to say that work is affording me new opportunities for learning. Somewhere in that vast cave (the cage) there is an 8x10 camera, and i WILL be using it this month.

And THAT means further work with the durst!

excellent news.

I have also updated my fotologue page. I'm hoping for an entire archive on there. waahoo.

chacha changes

After spending a good amount of the summer listening to all those crazy punk songs and other "alternative rock" from the 90s that i liked in high school, i have moved on to directly after high school.

This was a pretty interesting time. I started to really get into belle & sebastian and badly drawn boy. I was all wrapped up in simple-ish, introspective, quiet pop. I would spend my days painting a mural in my living room, cutting my own hair, and kissing my slightly younger than me boyfriend. I was a little bit broken and apt to feeling off-kilter but i was happy a lot of the time. Listening to DOG ON WHEELS and YOU MADE ME FORGET MY DREAMS, seems to send me back in time.

If i close my eyes i can feel the ground beneath my feet as i walked next to a marsh, and i can feel the sun on my face. I had a yellow walkman, but it was a panasonic one, and mixtapes were THE thing.

pretty great

My first week back at work is over a day early. Yes, it's a four day weekend for me. I kind of wanted to go to the ex this year, but it seems that the weather is not into it. Weather and i tend to have a difference of opinion a lot of the time. I guess we just have to agree to disagree. Unfortunately Weather alway wins the debate.

There are lot of things at home that i want to accomplish this weekend. It's too bad that most of them are chores. Let me correct that... OVERDUE chores.

anyway, now that i am in front of a computer all the time, i am sure i will have more impetus for blogness.

Check back, i will surprise you. Sneak attacks are coming. dang. i shouldn't have told you. now they are less sneak.

take my body, put it in a boat

Tonight i just want to listen to kind of poppy, slightly melancholic, that reminds me of my own mortality and that life is pretty and things are ok even if one is lonely. Example? Willow Tree by Chad VanGaalen.

Not that i am particularly lonely tonight. Just alone.

Its a saturday night and i want to be out moving my body with people that i like and have fun with whenever i see them. But i am home, listening to good music and thinking about wanting to go out.

but i helped him drink his wine

Because summer-time tv is terrible, i have been watching a lot (A LOT) of Japanese dramas.* I am currently watching Lunch Queen or ルンチの女王. It is a little bit old, from the early 2000s i think and stars some familiar faces, the most familiar being a young YamaPi; For some reason, i am the most familiar with super pretty young male idols when it comes to the japanese entertainment industry. go figure.

The story seems simple enough, waitress loves lunch and is asked by a regular customer to pose as his fiancée, to help him make amends with his estranged family. His family runs a wonderful little restaurant. Seems like happily ever after right? not quite. Regular customer man is the eldest son and also a bit of a sneak theif, having run away from his family two years prior, with all of their money in tow. Old habits die hard and he does it again. However... waitress decides she likes it there and continues to pretend to be his fiancée. Throw in several (three) brothers, an ailing father and a terrible ex boyfriend and you have one of the best ventures into japanese television that i have seen.

Oh, by the way. I start a pretty amazing job on August 30th. I am enjoying summer while "the getting is good". I hope you are too.

*drama / dorama / ドラマ is a term widely used to describe live action television shows in Japan. Not all of the programs could be classified in the drama genre, but because they are about an hour long and not a variety show, they are named as such.

imagine that

July 30th 1980 was a Wednesday. makes sense i suppose. Everyday as a child i looked at that old poem. It was framed on my wall - a gift from an Aunt Ros. I never really gave it much thought until this year.

I suppose everyone's life has the ups and the downs. Personally i wish it had been a Monday.

recent items of interest

howdy kids, last week i went into g44 and used the imacon scanner (loves it). I spent 8 hours working on building my digital archive. here are two recent things that i have yet to print out in the darkroom. Stuff that may not have a home in a series yet, but has been part of my most recent art practice.

they dont really fit together, and have very different moods, but try not to hold it against me.

k, thanks.

rant

It isn't often that i go on a tirade on here, but today i just can't help myself. After a long day of shopping, what could be better than tuning in to FT's RAW. The show is pretty great, usually just the runway, almost like being there (well not really at all, but at least i get to see how the garments move on the body). SO imagine my excitement today when i turn on the tube to find that favorite fashion designer Stella McCartney's Fall/Winter 2010 collection is marching across my screen (see here). However, I was quickly crestfallen.
The coverage was terrible. If i wanted to watch Sir Paul nod and flirt with his glitterati cohorts, i would tune in to tv like "Extra" or "e-talk" or even "TMZ", but that is exactly the opposite of what i want.
I want stella! in all her glory, and i dont even really want stella herself. I want to see the fruits of her labour. I want to see her collection. Several pieces were panned by the camera man in favour of zoomed in shots of her (awesome) famous father. Yep he is great, but COME ON!
Also... usually i am of the school - "the skinnier the better", but some of those models made me feel a little bit sick. I don't enjoy fearing that i will see a woman's leg snap like a brittle twig when watching fashion. Seriously girls, thigh implants? Maybe you should consider it.
However, to Stella i say, "thank you! I probably can't wear any of your pieces (as i am a twig no more), but they sure were pretty to look at."

waffling

Holy Moley!
I know, it's been over a month, honestly i am sorry. but not that sorry. I have been busy.
I have finally gotten my G44 membership, and have been reconnecting with some of the important people in my life.
Unfortunately some of the other important people in my life have either moved away or have fled to Europe for who knows how long. Equilibrium in all things i guess.
I have also made some new friends, discovered new recipes and slept a lot. So, i have been busy.
One great thing about the G44 membership means i will be back to shooting and printing, which means more pretty things to look at for you dear reader.
That's it for now, I think my dough has risen (Liege Waffles- jealous? i would be). I'll try not to be such a stranger.
xo

recently...

small king

Everyone thinks that their cat is the best cat. I am no exception, except that in my case its true. He's the best.
example? well right now he is sitting beside me with both front paws on my thigh. BEST

i miss gin-chan

Get ready, it's nerdier than ever.
I have been wanting to write about this for a bit. One of my favorite anime (Gintama) ended recently and while I wish that it hadn't and it will probably remain a favorite forever, I started looking around for something else to watch.
I finally settled on Naruto Shippuden. Having read some of the original Naruto manga, i thought that i could fall into it. This hasn't been such a problem. It's alright, I am enjoying it... for the most part. However there is one specific thing that is really bothering me.

Some math -
1 episode = approximately 22 minutes
opening theme = approximately 1.5 - 2 minutes
ending theme & next time & special featurette bit = approximately 3 minutes
That suggests that there are usually around 17 minutes of original footage for each episode.

NOT SO! here is where is get annoying to me. Most episodes have at least 3 minutes of filler usually in terms of flashbacks or what is even worse, the same exact scene that you just viewed before a commercial break!
This tends to make the show a bit repetitive, in other words ... boring.
Gintama wasnt big on this "stalling". This just makes me miss it more.

HARU is here

hello all, i know its been quite a while - sorry. The nicer the weather, the less i want to be on/in front of/anywhere near the computer.
I spent a lovely Sunday at High Park with some fantastic people (in alphabetical order - Brandon, Dan, Gen, & Jeff). Luckily the sakura were in full effect! Took a couple great polaroids and these two nice ones on my iPhone. Spring always makes me miss Japan. Honestly the most beautiful springs I ever experienced were back in Osaka.



My biggest time-suck lately has been "the shoe-less wonder". Ripley had been a bit under the weather, but has since appeared to be back in the pink.
I had noticed over the past month that he had new exciting object that he wants me to throw and throw and grown bored with his favorite toys, it appears he has now found a brandthrow and throw...
a plastic spoon, but only between naps.

colour bricks

Been working on something pretty fun. Heat transfer disperse dyes! the results are pretty pretty. I love the geometry in them, and the colours are so beautifully spring and feminine. I am going to make a necklace out of some of the fabric.
It's too bad that the dyeing is more fun than the sewing. Making something beautiful and then having to make it something else beautiful can be a bit of a letdown. But i do have an idea of how else to use the fabric. I'll let you know how it turns out.

i like movies

sorry kids, i haven't felt much like writing lately. Prolly because if i did write, it would just be all complainy. This time of year is like that for me. At the breaking point of "not enough sunshine", "where is the warm weather already?" and "stupid rain".
However last night i saw something that made me pretty happy. Volver. Have you seen it? it is exceptionally beautiful. Fantastic and gripping plot.


ps. is anyone else really annoyed by optical commercials? EVERYONE IS WEARING GLASSES!

good morning to you i hope you're feeling better baby

I am awake! It is Wednesday and that means its wake up early and put out the garbage and usually go back to bed. But today, it wasn't so cold and it wasn't so wet and it actually felt nice outside (still too cold and too wet). So, i am awake.

I think the main reason is because i can hear a cardinal chirping from somewhere in my backyard. It's a sound that is entirely welcome. There is a nesting pair that lives in my neighborhood and they tend to spend a lot of time in some of my trees.

i got the image here

handful of things

I was going to start with a link to an interview with Gen, but i dont want you to click off just yet so it will come at the end.
... Ok i was going to write some long post about the value of art in terms of an object that can bring joy, or some sort of emotion, the amount of time, thought and energy that goes into a piece versus it's monetary value. But I am really not in the mood to write it anymore.
So, moving on
there are a couple new items in my etsy shop, give them a looksee!

as promised - the link
Gen is an amazing artist and person. One of my faves to be completely honest. Please enjoy her work and charming interview.

across time

Broke the (not even for sure) news to my mum.
"I think i want to move back to Japan"
"..." was her initial reaction.
I dont think she is pleased in the slightest by the prospect. Maybe she feels abandoned or something. I just feel like there is more for me there.

bla, im going back to bed.
OH! wait, its going to be pretty today.

secret no more

ok! So, here is a secret nerd-out for all to read. I am a little bit in love with a fictional character... Kyle Reese! In both film manifestations. Michael Biehn and Anton Yelchin. Perfect. That first line "Come with me if you want to live"- how can a girl resist? Not to mention him carrying a torch for the woman he has traveled through time to save! Pretty great.
On top of all that, there are those excellent fashions! Look at that super awesome stripey shirt, and layered fatigues! Bril! I love.




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hmm
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ps. watch T1 again... how creepy does Arnold look without eyebrows?

hopes dashed

Dont worry, the title is slightly misleading. It wont really be as depressing as all that.
Last week the weather here was incredible! It was warm and sunny. I was compelled to leave the house and bask in the sun.
But true to toronto weather form, its ugly outside. Its going to stay ugly outside.
I really wish that i could leave for about 2 months. come back in may when i can smile and squint all day long because its sunny.

zooey was always my favorite

why didnt anyone tell me that my favorite author had passed away?
there is a tiny sad cloud inside of my heart.
He had been gone for so long already, but i guess i just wished that he would have published something else. It's because i am greedy and four books wasn't nearly enough.

god save the village green

dip dyeing - so fun.

Last night the cbc gave me a gift, they had HOT FUZZ on for the late night film. Excellent. It was my first time seeing it and it has become my favorite cop movie (of the moment).

I do have one criticism, the soundtrack! Although it is an amazing choice of songs, there is voiceover with lines from the film. I never enjoy this sort of thing with pre-existing songs. Sometimes i find it successful when the Artist or Band makes this choice in studio (there is a lagwagon song that has lines from jacob's ladder, works well) but in this case the cast's voices completely ruined "We are the village green preservation society" which was the only reason i downloaded the soundtrack from iTunes in the first place. Maybe i will get over it.

retail therapy

Alright! OK! Finally got my Etsy store up. Only three items so far, but they are great. So go buy em!
Gogogogogogoooo

home

Home by Saturday has, for a few years been one of my top 20 songs. There is a very specific memory that it is involved with- When i lived in Japan i felt such longing for home that it would be like a blinding light, some sort of imagined beacon that would guide me back to a life that i had left. I would wake up from dreaming confused as to where i was. I dreamed of my friends and family in Canada, of the places i loved in Toronto - home. But when i returned, home was no longer to be found. Things had changed, loved ones had changed, i had changed, rooms felt bigger and smaller, food tasted different and i couldnt find that one comfort that i had been missing so much, I couldnt find my home. I found instead pangs of nostalgia and a yearning for the land i had left. I was torn in two. Happy and sad simultaneously.
Over time things have adjusted (as they always do) and I kind of feel like i am home again, but the pangs have never left me.
I think i am beginning to understand a new notion of home. I think throughout a lifetime there will be many versions of comfort and love, maybe its a house you grew up in and a school you loved, your first apartment and your favorite restaurant. Or maybe it could be something else, maybe it could be a feeling that you can carry around with you, maybe the light can live inside you and you'll never have to feel homesick again. The latter is my hope for my future. I have been contemplating a move back. But still feeling torn.

compulsion

spinning yarn, dyeing yarn, knitting yarn.
I am doing a lot of this and its becoming compulsive.
The little face is running around like a madcat, he is on a rampage. Every few minutes he sits down in front of me to stare, and then dashes off to continue his laps.

I will have some images of my current fiber work tomorrow.

light of my life

Ripley Katsuo VonTerror - the little face

Results

As promised, photos of my first spin. The wool is from louet, Belgian Northern Lights Wool Top in Natural White. I think it will be pretty once knitted up. oooh exciting.

drop spindle

WOO! started spinning tonight! pretty fun, pictures to come tomorrow.
Any tips?

Ananas

I used to hate pineapple, but somewhere over the past four years i slowly started to love it. The taste is pretty great, but the best part is the smell!
I wish i was smelling pineapple all the time.

tom ford made me cry like an ickle baby

Today was beautiful and busy. My dear Genevieve came over and we went for a walk along queen east. Bought some new wool *ahem* cotton, met up with Jeannette, headed over to the Indian Bizarre for some henna, and then back to mine to do some baking.
The ladies and i made some cookies very quickly, drank tea and cider (not together) and went our separate ways.
My separate way included meeting up with Joh for a movie. Here is where the title becomes relevant- A Single Man was beautiful. My heart was squeezed by it (easy peasy to do) and my eyes were entirely enthralled (not so easy to do).
To be completely honest, I was a bit worried when Mr. Ford announced his retirement from apparel for a career in film, but TOMCAT you did me proud. I was impressed and inspired.
Go see the movie. Bring tissues to wipe your eyes, i had to use my scarf.
ps cute plastic things FROM SPAIN

some work shots

FOUND THE CONNECTION CORD!


This one is from a few months ago. Its a continuation of a series I started a couple of summers ago.

These are from the series i am currently focusing on. more to come later.

I am off to NL for the next week. I'll have more work to show for it when i get back.
Kisses

La petite fille de la Mer

Today I was pretty productive. I did some "digital sketching" for something i have been working on for the past month.
To the right is a quick shot (with my iPhone) of a portion of the set-up, and me. If the weather holds i will be committing it to film tomorrow. As well another special secret shot.

some voices

Its fairly common knowledge that i love listening to This American Life and on This American Life two of my most favorite contributors are Sarah Vowell and Starlee Kine. The reason for this favoritism, aside from the obvious (them being entertaining, informative and pretty much brilliant) is that I feel like i share something with them - the fact that we all have very young sounding voices.
Now... I have always looked pretty young and I have always sounded young. As a teenager it would drive me around the bend. My mother would take full advantage of it. A favorite story of hers is how angry i would become when she would try to make me order off of the readily offered "Kids Menu" at various restaurants.
Even at my first year of university, people seemed to think that maybe i was some sort of child prodigy who had skipped up to three grades. No such luck. Aside from my youthful appearance, i was normal.
Even to this day the frustration continues. When people phone my home, especially telemarketers, they ask for my "mommy". I am in my late twenties. Being asked for my "mommy" should not be something that i am commonly subjected to, yet this is the case.
As you may have guessed, this is, and always has been somewhat of an issue for me. What can i do? I could attempt to lower my voice by speaking in a reverse falsetto (is there an actual word for that? if so, let me know) but i honestly sound much stranger, kind of like a muppet monster from sesame street, which would not help my plight one bit.
Here is another grand example of just how young I sound: A few weeks ago, a much younger friend of mine was home from school for the holidays. I called his home and his mother answered.
"Hi, is Conor there?"
"Um... yes, just a minute please"
Then a pause... and a slightly muffled voice "Conor, its for you... its a girl...? She sounds REALLY young."
Another pause then...
"Hullo, Linzi?"
The tone of his mother's voice seemed to communicate more than she probably intended. Something along the lines of "Are you sure that you aren't calling for my youngest son?"
Now to get back to Sarah Vowell and Starlee Kine, their voices show me a brighter future. Despite the sound of their voices, people listen, and take note- it gives me hope that maybe, even with this voice, people will be able to take me seriously, or at least take pause, and not immediately write me off.

Fashion Fairytale

Yes, its time for a fashion bedtime story.
A million years (a little bit more than a decade) ago there was a tiny, itty bitty, skinny slip of a teenaged girl. She was ok with her body, even when other (fatter) girls would say "eww, you are SOOO skinny". She took solace in the pages of Vogue, and on her tv screen every sunday evening (fashion television), "Those girls! They're skinny too! Albeit way taller, but skinny!" She would think to herself.
But her fashion dreams and aspirations never quite found themselves fulfilled, and she grew up, got boobs, got hips, and "filled out". Sure, she still was not fat... but she was no longer the rail-thin waif yesteryear. She became a little bit of the dreaded pear shape and began to morn the changes in fashion.
"Stovepipes?! This year again?"
"Mini-dresses? ok."
One night she made a wish upon a big bright fashion star- Coco Rocha. "Starlight, starbright, grant the wish that makes me look alright! I wish for something flattering!"
AND POOOOF! Karl Lagerfeld- the fairy fashionmaster granted the wish! The A-line! Ruffles! Cut from the waist! Thank you Chanel Pret-a-portier Spring 2010!

( the images are copyright style.com )

Resolved

Alright. Ok. So. Its a new year, a new decade (apparently, it technically isnt), and i suppose its time for contemplating the past whilst facing forward.
So while thinking about all the foibles and mistakes 0f 2009, I have made several resolutions.
The first and most important is to DRINK MORE WATER. I am usually tired, and often have headaches, I am probably just thirsty. So 2010 is as good a time as any to start the water habit.
My second resolution is to THINK LESS ABOUT "BOYS". This does a lot more for me than you might think. Since realizing that there was a difference between boys and girls (at about the age of four and a half years) i have been boy crazy! It's been a bit of a plague, and i am happy to report that the curse seems to be fading. This frees up a lot of my thinking for what i consider to be more important.
My last resolution of 2010 is to TAKE MORE PICTURES. A lot of my art practice had fallen by the wayside and i am finally getting back on track. However, i have yet to really make any progress with my photography. I have been painting and sculpting and crafting but photo-ing hasn't happened a whole lot. Well that ends now! I am resolved.

nana bread

I.
Have honestly.
Elevated
Banana Bread
TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL!
mmmm

My feet are freezing

The weather has finally shown what its made of! Winter has returned. There has always been something about snow that has made me feel nostalgia. The sight of the snow swirling beneath a street-lamp always has the ability to evoke a sense of home. I remember being in japan two years ago. It was the 17tth of January and I wrote the following:

today it snowed a little bit while i was at work. Luckily i was even outside for the event.
Today my class went outside for "outside play". Some of my students were late in getting their coats on so my partner looked after that half of the class while i took the other half with me to change their shoes. we got onto the playground and it started to lightly snow- much to my excitement. You see i am from a land of snow and ice (at least for about 4 of the 12 months) and honesetly, i miss it. I miss the feeling of freezing in my face when i am walking somewhere, i miss how amazing hot chocolate really tastes after you have had a chance to really appreciate it warming qualities, i miss the pretty ice and the pretty snow. I miss home. SO for the 15 nostalgic minutes of snow... I felt really happy.
Maybe i should have moved to hokkaido.